networking,
but the lazy way
july 16 · bonsai coffee bar · 6–8pm
showing up tonight already counts
quick poll: someone says "let's network!" — you feel…
tap a sticky per show of hands
what we think networking is
business cards
the elevator pitch
500+ LinkedIn connections
"circling back"
none of this has ever gotten anyone anything ↑
your inner cringe networker, live:
to their inbox 🙏"
finds you well"
sometime!" (never)
personal brand"
this voice is why networking feels gross. we're firing it tonight.
why networking events mostly don't work
everyone is selling.
nobody is buying.
peak performance energy.
zero actual connection.
ties evaporate by monday.
a stack of cards, no texts.
napkin math:
30 cards collected → 0 messages sent
the reframe
you already have a network.
you're just not using it.
networking ≠ meeting strangers
"lazy," properly defined
lazy ≠ less effort.
lazy = no new strangers.
new rooms, new people,
new context every time
people who already know you.
the work is already done
act two
the real math
frequency > depth
acquaintances get you opportunities.
your besties don't.
your close friends know everything you already know.
weak ties live in different worlds — that's where the new jobs, clients, and ideas come from.
granovetter, "the strength of weak ties" (1973) — still the most-cited paper in the game
the goldmine: dormant ties
people you already know
but haven't texted in 6+ months
trust already built + they've lived a whole new life since = newer info than your close circle, at near-zero cost
levin, walter & murnighan (2011): execs who reconnected with dormant ties got more novel, more valuable info than from active contacts
six degrees is real. online it's ~3.5.
you are roughly two intros away from most people you'd ever want to meet.
the path exists. you've just never asked for it.
milgram's small-world experiments (1967); facebook graph study (2016) measured ~3.57 degrees between any two users
live · everyone plays
let's test it, right now
someone name a person / role / company you want to reach.
room: shout out who you know that gets us closer.
the compounding napkin math
dormant ties you could text this month: 10
each one knows ~150 people you don't*
≈ 1,500 people
…all exactly one warm intro away
*dunbar's number, generously rounded on a napkin. the point stands.
you don't need deep. you need recent.
people can only send opportunities to whoever is on their mind.
memory of you decays. a tiny ping resets the clock.
↑ the ping. costs 20 seconds. buys 6 more months of salience.
live · phones out
make the list. right now.
type them here or in your notes app — just get real names down
look at that — a network.
(names you typed appear here)
your starter list. zero strangers involved.
the ick antidote: always give something
frequency without giving = spam.
frequency with tiny gifts = being a good person, efficiently.
act three
lazy mode: the system
a trigger + a cadence + a default action.
if it needs willpower, it's already dead.
move 1
react, don't initiate
the feed already hands you reasons: a story, a job change, a post.
reply to what's there. zero context creation — which is the whole point of lazy.
"omg congrats!!" is a fully valid networking move.
move 2
batch, don't grind
one 10-minute pass,
once a week.
daily habits die by thursday. weekly batches survive.
coffee in hand, thumb through the list, send 2–3 tiny things. done.
move 3
be the connector
know two people who should meet? route them.
costs you one text. you need nothing, ask for nothing —
and both people now owe the universe (and you) a little.
the laziest high-status move in networking ↑
live · turn to your neighbors
one thing you need + one thing you can offer
say both out loud to the people near you. find one match — or connect two other people who match.
move 4
rotate your dormant ties
one name off tonight's list per week. that's the whole move.
"hey — saw this and
thought of you"
↑ a complete, grown-up, effective message. no agenda required.
the whole system, one napkin
trigger a weekly reminder fires
cadence 10 minutes, once a week
action send one tiny thing to one person
that's it. that's the system.
live · do not skip this
set the reminder. now. we'll wait.
pick a day + time ↑
napkin recap
no new strangers needed
tiny pings, often
links, memes, congrats
the connector wins
your reminder is set. the system runs whether you come back or not.
go be lazy.
text one person from your list before you leave the parking lot.
@sawtelleneighborhoodcollective · sip & learn · thursdays in july